Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Case Study: Miriam KLINK

Hello everyone! First and foremost if you're here because bestiality turns you on then I'm sorry you've come to the wrong place. For those who don't know what bestiality is, well, I'll be happy to ruin your innocent mind. SeXual intercourse between a human being and an animal. In this case, for those who want to see the legendary epic 3antar the Cat dominate Lady Gaga's long lost offspring, stop reading HERE.

Now for the past weeks, besides the music scene officially going to hell in a nicely designed hand basket, the new obsession has been centered around an intriguing figure who goes by the name of Miriam Klink. Being the Psy dude that I am, my friends couldn't stop bothering me to ask what was up with her. I decided to do a bit of research because free time should never be wasted. I hated myself for trying because the horror I dwelt in, I pray the good Lord keeps all of you safe. 

Now nobody here needs a degree in Psychology because I'm going to break it down step by step :) Being a foreigner, I couldn't tell if the song was really about her cat or about her vagina but I was too embarrassed to ask. You know me with Arabic - I was bothered people would go, 'Ew you sick bastard it's an innocent cat!!' But then gladly my favorite Lebanese comedian Nemr Abou Nassar cleared it out for me. 

Okay so let's look at the symptoms :D 

1 - We've got a bimbo that's made a certain plastic surgeon very very rich. 
2- Educational level down the drain. 
3- Matches traits of Histrionic Personality Disorder/Borderline. 
4- Peter Pan Syndrome (Also known as Neverland Syndrome)
5- Possibly Delusional.

So up on front, Miriam or Myriam - whatever - appears to be a dumb air-headed bimbo in her mid 30s that destroyed music along with her accomplice, 3antar. BUT since you're not a psychologist, these symptoms may not be visible. Let's target one by one :) 

1- Miriam is concerned with her self image, which is why she has totaled enough plastic surgeries to the point she's walking plastic and she'll melt close to a candle. Whether she is satisfied or not, she has 'severe' insecurity issues. I doubt she is conscious about it though given the fact she's been raised like a farm princess. What you need to know here is behind that pop star face, she might probably be having Body Dimorphic Disorder. Maybe that solves her love for her cat? Picking the cat up, staring into his eyes and asking, '3antar, you find me pretty, don't you?' Can you imagine that happening? Makes sense now, huh?

2 - Miriam seems only to be concerned about the spot light - HPD - but we'll get to that later. What you need to know is that her cognitive processes aren't up to standards which means she'll interpret things differently. If you follow Anis Tabet on twitter and read his BassYaHabla jokes, she fits those perfectly in terms of cognitive processes. 

3- Alas! Most people think disorders are only psychotic in nature like Schizophrenia, Delusional etc but you're wrong! Personality Disorders eXist and are very very very common! For Miriam, she matches Histrionic Personality Disorder. The easiest way to define this disorder is the love for attention to the point if she doesn't receive it, she'll start faking fainting spells or talking really loud etc All that goes on up there is how to stay in the spot light. Now take what I just said and amplify it by 15. Surely we all have friends we call Drama Queens. You can notice it in her attitude, her writing, her speech etc However, since HPD is in the Cluster B - she might have tendencies of developing into Borderline Personality. This form of personality is seen in people like Britney Spears, Madonna, Lohan, Hilton etc Yes, it is categorized by people who are very unstable that they just get drunk and have intercourse like there's no tomorrow (And of course other things but we don't need to dwell into that). So definitely she matches both traits of this disorder and she is in need of therapy. You guys shouldn't be surprised - the prevalence is around 8% and Miriam turned out to be the severe case.

4- Now the Peter Pan Syndrome (Also known as Neverland Syndrome). Though this has a funny name, it's pretty serious. This syndrome is given to people who have long passed their teenage years yet refuse to grow up. In some cases, some elderly women wear skirts and start putting ketchup down there believing its the time of the month. At first I thought Miriam was just another Bimbo teenager acting stupid but damn she's way beyond college. Besides her Histrionic tendencies, you can see in her writing she wants to be that princess you see in cartoons - she literally writes Hihihihihihi. She IS NOT kidding around - she believes in heart and soul it is cute and it will give her love and rainbows and innocence and probably a Unicorn to sleep with. Eventually she'll turn to more surgeries but the mirror on the wall will start cracking, eXposing her reality. That will lead her to crack because nobody can fight off Father Time. When I mean crack, I mean severe depression and the nucleus of her borderline traits will fully dominate. Just like Britney or Madonna. I could not find a perfect eXample more than that. 

5- Possibly delusional? Possible! I may be going too far with this BUT I'll be honest I'm only assuming out of observation. Miriam posted, 'I would like to thank all the middle eastern countries (SERBIA, United States, Brazil, Australia) etc for their continuous support. Everyone in Lebanon attacked me because of a song! Anyways I'll show them when I become a model at Victoria's secret' It was something like that. Now what's a delusion? An idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted what is generally accepted as reality. This is a symptom of psychosis. Look at Mariam Noor for eXample, she has the belief that aliens are her BFF <3 This is clearly a mystical delusion and if accompanied with hallucinations, develops fully into Schizophrenia. So am I going too far? Well I'm not sure I need more than just observing I think I did pretty okay so far. So what's Miriam's delusion? It doesn't have to be severe as in aliens are her best friends but that doesn't matter because if the delusion is small, it can eventually grow. Miriam may or may not be modeling for victoria's secret she might just believe she is OR she might be lying because she needs attention. If she firmly believes she is yet she isn't then look into that. Maybe her delusion could be the fact that the entire world loves her and worships her and by God that isn't the case. Yet I'm gut sure there might be something bizarre, even so small that has a '?' stamped on it. 

To end this, I thank you for reading this far it's always good to learn but I can only hope one thing - if we don't accept something even those who hate us, we should never be quick to judge. I'm not asking that we should all go study psychology to know symptoms and whatever but at least show pity and take into consideration that some people are in need of help. Once again, thanks for reading. If you found this offensive, burn some tires. 

- Joey Kaiser.